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Degrassi: Emma/Manny/Craig - Badfic Beware. Srsly.

User: fandom_mst (posted by stolemyworld)
Date: 2007-08-21 13:03
Subject: Degrassi: Emma/Manny/Craig
Security: Public
This fic was MSTed by Cari! *waves*

Your lovely MSTers for today are:

Title: the choice they made
Author: sexygirl07

Manny is at the hospital having her baby and Emma and Spike and Snake are their too.

Manny: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, WHOA!
Emma: Um, you appear to be pregnant. In labor, actually.
Manny: GREAT. Is this another baby or have we flashed back to three years ago?
Emma: This is why author notes are GOOD. Use them, people! Don’t fear the author note!
Manny: And why are Emma’s parents there and not my own?!
Emma: No, Manny, my parents are THEIR.

Emma, is Craig here yet? Manny asked

Emma: Speech marks? Too much to ask?
Manny: Well, duh! The author clearly wants us to work a little harder to understand her story.
Emma: Harder than I’m already working?!
Manny: Have a cookie.
Emma: *nibbles cookie* Still waiting for a clue as to the timeline, people!
Manny: Wait, that’s a clue! Craig’s not there … it’s gotta be recent.
Emma: Because Craig was a regular stand-up guy who was always there for you when he knocked you up the first time?
Manny: Um, yes?
Emma: Okay then.
Craig: Hey, I’m sitting right here!

No not yet, but he’ll be here pretty soon. Emma tolled her.

Emma: I … TOLLED you?
Craig: You charge people for the pleasure of your conversation?
Emma: Man, I should totally do that! I’d be rich in five days.
Manny: Or you’d be friendless. Stop tolling me!

I hope he hurry up and comes I wouldn’t want him to miss his baby been born. Manny said

Emma: You’re so polite for someone in labor whose boyfriend isn’t there for the birth of his baby. And it’s not *his* baby. It’s *our* baby. Well, not *our* baby. It’s *your* baby.
Manny: Yeah. … that doesn’t sound like me.
Emma: Maybe that’s because the author is crazeee.

Don’t worry Manny he’ll at the hospital soon. Emma said reassured Manny

Emma: You’re easily reassured …
Manny: I’m a trusting soul.

The doctor and nurses roll Manny into hospital room, leaving Emma and Spike and Snake their.

Emma: I ... THERE! THERE!

Dam Craig where the hell are you? Emma said to self.

Manny: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Emma: Hey, Craig, you stuck in a dam?
Craig: Not today.
Emma: In that case, it’s DAMN. DAMN DAMN DAMN! And I say it to MYself!
Craig: Because you be cra-zee.
Emma: Ugh. You know what I meant!

Craig is at Ellie’s place and she is trying to hook up with him.

Manny: Shocker!
Craig: Awesome.
Manny: Craig!
Emma: This is actually worse than you hooking up with Manny while Ashley was buying you the best guitar ever.
Manny: Emma!
Craig: How do you know that? In such detail?
Emma: Didn’t you see the mini webisode where you chose me?
Craig: I missed that one.
Emma: Lucky you.
Manny: Whore.

Ellie come on, you know I can’t hook up with you I have girlfriend more so… a pregnant girlfriend at home Craig said.

Manny: Wow. Way to be a stand up guy, Craig.
Craig: I want to go home. This isn’t fun.
Emma: Stop being a manwhore then!
Craig: That’s not me! It’s a weird, literary version of me that gets girls pregnant and cheats!
Manny: … sounds like the real Craig to me?

Come on Craig Ellie said.

Manny: I’m pretty sure Ellie has better lines than that.
Craig: Oh, she does.
Manny: Craig!
Craig: I’m shutting up now.

Manny will never have to know Ellie said putting or hand on Craig’s shirt.

Manny: Ahem. I will know. Firstly, because I am omniscient …
Emma: Awesome use of the word …
Manny: … thank you. And secondly, because this is Degrassi. Everyone finds out everything about everyone else.
Craig: What the hell is omniscient?!

Ellie leaned in about to kiss Craig, when his cell phone rings.

Emma: Lucky, Manning. Real lucky.

Craig looks at his cell phone and it says Emma name and her cell phone number on it.

Craig: Wow, that’s a super awesome cell phone.
Emma: The wonders of technology! My name and my number!

Who is it? Ellie asked.

It is Emma, she must be calling because of Manny. Craig said.

Emma: Yes, I must be, because Craig and Emma haven’t spoken two words to each other since S3. Remember when we had a whole season opener about me finding my dad?
Craig: That was around the time when I used to be a photographer, right?
Emma: Which you swapped one day for a guitar. Which was just strange.
Craig: We used to be awesome friends.
Emma: Even when you picked Manny over me.
Manny: Yeah, if I’d known what was coming, I’d have given him to you.
Craig: Hey!
Manny: I’m kidding! … kinda.

Craig was about to answers his cell, when Ellie took the phone out of his hands and cut it off.

Manny: Whore!
Emma: Ellie or Craig?
Manny: Both?

Back at the hospital Emma is still trying to contract Craig.

Emma: Because I am an awesome friend, and Craig is a crappy boyfriend. DID EVERYONE GET THE NOTE?!

Why the hell are you not answer your phone. Emma said to her self.

Emma: Why am I the crazy who talks to herself? Craig’s the bipolar one!
Craig: Okay, no more Craig-bashing!
Manny: But … it’s so fun! Okay, no more. I promise.

Manny is in the hospital room trying to have the baby.

Ok Manny, what I need for you to do is give me a push Dr. Johnson said trying to get the baby out of her.

Craig: That doctor is smaaart.

Ok I’ll try Manny said.

Manny then started screaming.

Emma: Jesus Christ, what the hell are you giving birth to?!
Manny: The spawn of Satan?
Craig: Hey! You promised!
Manny: You probably promised you’d be there for the birth and not skanking it up with Ellie!
Craig: Okay. Fair point.

Manny now has tears coming down her face.

Manny: This is so true. Except I’m crying with laughter. At this fic.
Emma: Burn!

Manny I know it hurts, but you are going to have to give me another push Dr. Johnson said.

I can’t Manny said upsets.

Emma: Upsets what?
Manny: The doctor’s face if he doesn’t shut up, he’s never given birth, what does he know?!

Yes you can Nurse said.

No I can’t Manny said.

Emma: Now is not the time to be stubborn, Manny.
Manny: Let me find a fic where you have to give birth and see how you do!

I can’t do this without my boyfriend Manny tolled her doctor.

Emma: Oh, awesome! This tolling thing is catching on!
Manny: I’m probably trying to raise the money to bring up my fatherless child.
Craig: *sigh”

Nurse go get that “Emma” girl and tell her to come in fast Dr. Johnson said.

Emma: That *Emma* girl?!
Manny: Ha!

Ok doctor, I will Nurse said.

The Nurse then leaves out of the room.

Craig: Fascinating.

Emma is still in the hall way trying to contact Craig, when the Nurse comes out to talk to her.

Emma Nurse said.

Manny: Is … Nurse her actual name? Because that would be pretty cool. Having your first name and occupation being the same. No, it wouldn’t. Shut up, Manny.

Yes Emma said.

Manny needs her boyfriend in the room with her Nurse tolled her.

Emma: Hey! Don’t charge me, Nurse! I started that!

I know Emma said.

Is her boyfriend came or not? Nurse asked.

Manny: Well, of course he did, why else would I be pregnant?!
Emma: I don’t … think she means that, Manny.

I have been calling to tell him to come, but he is not answers his phone Emma tolled the Nurse.

Emma: Okay, maybe this author doesn’t speak English as a first language.
Manny: Maybe this author doesn’t speak English at all.
Emma: A strong possibility.

Well sense Manny boyfriend is not come, you can be in the room with her Sense you are her friend Nurse said.

Emma: What is she, psychic?!
Manny: She means since, right?

Ok Emma said agreeing with the Nurse.

Emma puts her phone in her pocket and she follows the nurse and puts on the hospital gown and goes into the room.

Craig: YAWN.

Back at Ellie’s place.

Craig: Oh, crap.
Emma: Ha! That'll teach you to yawn in my scene!

Ellie is trying to kiss Craig again but Craig won’t let her

Manny: Since when is Ellie a maneater?
Emma: Since this fic started.
Manny: Since when does Craig not let people kiss him?
Emma: Since this fic started.

Ellie you are a nice girl, but I have a “pregnant girlfriend” and I can not be hooking up with you, knowing Manny is about to have my baby. Craig said

Manny: Why is pregnant girlfriend in speech marks? You think I’m faking it, Craig?!
Emma: So she does know where the speech marks are!
Craig: Just … tell me when it’s safe to come out.

Craig you don’t have to worry about that, you can be with your baby and still be with me Ellie said still trying to kiss him.

Manny: Whore!
Emma: Ellie is kinda funny like this.
Manny: Emma! You’re meant to be my friend!
Emma: That Ellie is such a whore! Craig?
Craig: Yeah, whore, whatever.
Emma: Does this writer hate Ellie?
Manny: Or has she ever seen the show?

No I don’t want it to be that way at all, I want to be with Manny and only Manny Craig said stopping her again.

Manny: Aww!
Emma: Um, you’re in labor, Manny! And your boyfriend is with another girl!
Manny: But he was being sweet!
Craig: Yes! I was! Finally!

Craig then gets up off the couch and checks his cell phone again and sees that Emma left a text message on his cell phone that says.

“Where are you?”

“Manny is at the hospital right now having the baby.”

“If you get this come to the hospital RIGHT NOW!”


Emma: Wait. A text message gets speech marks but an actual conversation doesn’t?!

After reading the text message Craig then cut the phone off.

Manny: Like, with a knife?!
Emma: Craig shouldn’t play with knives.
Craig: I really shouldn’t.

Ellie I have to go Craig said getting up off the couch.

Craig: Didn’t I just get off that thing?

Why? Ellie asked.

Manny is at the hospital having the baby, so I have to leave Craig said.

Ellie gets up off the couch.

You are not going anywhere Ellie said stand in front of Craig.

Emma: Wow. That is just SO in character. Maybe she’ll like, start beating Craig up!
Manny: Whore!
Emma: Manny, chill. This is bizarro-Ellie.
Manny: Bizarro Ellie is a whore!
Emma: Much better.

I don’t have time for this I have to go Craig said.

Craig was about to walk out the door and leave when Ellie grab him and kiss him on the lips.

Emma: She’s such a sweet girl.

Back at the hospital Emma is in the hospital room with Manny.

Manny I am here Emma said walking into the hospital room and walking next to Manny side.

Emma I am so glad you are here Manny said.

Is Craig Coming? Manny asked.

Emma: No, because he’s kissing Ellie.
Craig: Am not!
Emma: Are too!

He’s just a little late, but he is coming Emma tolled her.

Ok, as long as he gets here Manny said.

Manny: Okay, this sweet, biddable thing is getting old.
Emma: Oh! So Ellie is the whore, and you’re the sweet one!
Manny: You say one word about roles being switched …
Emma: My lips are sealed.

I can’t tell Manny right now when she is having the baby that Craig is not coming I’ll wait and tell her later Emma said to her self in her mine.

Emma: In my mine? Does it … have gold?
Craig: Arr, you bettah get back to prospectin’, old gal!
Emma: Mah gold is gonnah make me riiich!

Manny I really need you to push again, ok Dr. Johnson tolled her.

No, I don’t think, I can do it Manny said.

Come on Manny, you can do it! Emma encourage her.

Emma: Give me a P! U! S! H! What does that spell? Puuuush!
Manny: You suck at being a cheerleader.
Emma: Yeah, I know.

Ok Manny said.

Manny then tried to push hard again.

Manny then started screaming again.

Ok, good Manny, I need you to keep pushing Dr. Johnson said.

Manny: This doctor is a masochist! Is he allowed to practice medicine?!

Dr. Johnson, I can’t it hurts too much Manny tolled her.

Know it hurts, but I need one more long push and the baby will be out Dr. Johnson said.

Manny is now crying.

No I can’t, do it anymore Manny said.

You can do it Manny, just one more push Emma said.

Manny then pushes one hard time.

Manny then started screaming again this time but only louder.

Manny: And no baby. You both lied to me!
Emma: Hey, I was just repeating what the doctor said!

Yes Manny, keep pushing. Oh my god, I can see the baby head Emma said telling Manny.


Manny: Wait, did I say it or yell it?

The baby is now out Dr. Johnson tolled Manny.

Emma: What, in case she missed feeling that big mass inside of her coming out?!

Thank you God Manny said.

Dr. Johnson cut the baby’s clod.

Manny: My baby has a clod?! What the hell is a clod?
Emma: I don’t know. Maybe that’s why he’s cutting it.
Manny: Maybe he means clog. Craig, are you Dutch?
Craig: No-oo?
Manny: Dam. I mean, Damn.

Can I hold my baby? Manny asked.

First we have to get the baby clean off and check her health then you can hold your baby Dr. Johnson said.

Emma: Yeah, way to break the baby’s sex to the mother, jerk.
Manny: Can I not even SEE the baby?!

Ok, Dr. Johnson Manny said.

Dr. Johnson and the nurse take the baby and clean it off and check its heart and breathing and body.

They put the baby in a little gown and blanket.

Manny: Aww!
Emma: They put a newborn in a gown?!
Manny: I told you this doctor was shifty!

Manny here is your beautiful baby girl Dr. Johnson said handing Manny her baby.

Hey baby I am your mom, yes I am and you just look like your dad and me Manny said looking at her.

Emma: Poor kid.
Craig & Manny: Hey!

Yes you do Manny said

Manny she is so beautiful Emma said looking at the baby.

Emma: I lie. I am a liar. I do nothing in this story but lie.

Yes I know Manny said agreeing with her.

What are you going to name her? Emma asked.

Julia Maria Santos Manny said.

Julia you are going to name her after Craig’s mother name? Emma asked.

Emma: I’m so smart. And I have an awesome memory.

Yeah what wrong with it? Manny asked.

Manny: Aww, it’s sweet!

Nothing, maybe you should think about another name Emma tolled her.

Emma: Wow, I’m a bitch.
Manny: You’re just figuring this out? Have you watched the show recently?
Emma: Hey! I’m lovely!
Manny: Uh, yeah.

Why Emma? Craig will like it and I like it Manny said.

It’s just you shouldn’t name her Julia just for Craig. You should do it for your self Emma said.

Emma: What? That doesn’t even make sense. Shut up, Imaginary-Emma!

I am doing for my self, I think Julie is a beautiful name for her not just because it is Craig mother name Manny tolled Emma.

Craig: Hey!
Manny: What? That doesn’t make sense either! Shut up, Imaginary-Manny!

Manny I have something to tell you about Craig Emma said.

What is it? Manny asked.

Emma: DUM-dum-DUM!
Manny: Is that it?
Craig: Please say that’s it!
Emma: I think that’s it.
Manny: This fic SUCKED.
Emma: Hey, at least there were no Mary-Sues. It could have been worse.
Craig: I disagree.
Manny: Yeah, me too.
Emma: Hey, let’s all go find … something! Like the old days!
Craig: We’ve already found your dad.
Manny: And my dad isn’t missing. And Craig’s dad died.
Craig: Let’s go find Joey!
Emma: Yeah! I miss Joey!
Manny: Let’s find Caitlin too!
Craig: Alright! Let’s go!

Post A Comment | 1 snark | | Link

User: bickeringlove
Date: 2007-08-23 00:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
lmaooooo! yay! thanks for doing it! it was hilarious! love the craig bashing, lol it was awesome!
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